The Unbeaten Path

Patience is a willingness, in a sense, to watch the unfolding purposes of God with a sense of wonder and awe—rather than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance. --Neal A. Maxwell

In the spirit of Ash Wednesday, I'm going to make a frank confession: I hate ambiguity. Staring ahead into the unknown future almost feels like staring into the face of death: it's terrifying. Ultimately, I don't suppose either of those things--death or ambiguity--ought to be so frightening, but fear tends to work its way into every human mind and extricating it is the work of a lifetime. For me, the result of this specific fear is that I have a tendency to want to push everything in my life to a conclusion. I'd rather make things end my way (good or bad) than wait for the unknown to unfold and reveal greater purposes. I'm recognizing that it's unhealthy--both spiritually and emotionally--and I want to change. This, my friends, brings me back to Ash Wednesday.

Although I believe repentance is a constant process that shouldn't be saved for Lent, I think there is still something to taking stock of our lives on this Christianity-wide day of fasting. But rather than giving up meat or abstaining from any number of "luxuries" (most of which I don't incorporate into my life anyway) which will subsequently be taken up again in 40 days, I want to commit indefinitely to giving up something much more difficult; I want to try to give up my fear of the future.

More than any other time in my life, I currently feel like I'm staring out into a vast field in which I can't seem to locate a beaten path. Surely I won't be expected to step out into that, right? Surely I'll be able to see my way before I have to take the first step... But these thoughts remind me of classic scene from a great movie: in the final Indiana Jones film, Indy is propelled forward through a complicated system of obstacles in order to save his father from a premature death. The final--and most difficult--obstacle presents him with a terrifying precipice that  his notes and maps tell him he has to cross in order to find the holy grail. Recognizing that he has to step out into the unknown, he closes his eyes and goes for it--only to realize that he is almost magically supported by an unseen ledge, perfectly designed and disguised to trick the eye into believing there is nothing but empty space bordered by jagged rocks. I really love this scene in the movie, because as Indy puts his foot out to take that first step, he has no idea what lies right in front of him. But he takes that step anyway--and the end result is better, and even more simple, than he could have imagined.

To bring things back to reality, we don't ever need to feel alone or afraid to press forward--even if no regular mortal has ever crossed the path or forged into the broad field that we are staring across, there is always One being who has been there. The scriptures tell us numerous times that Christ has prepared the way, that He will prepare the way, that He is the way for those who believe in Him. If we align our will with His, there is no unbeaten path or unbridged chasm, because Christ has been where we will go and will help us navigate our lives to our ultimate destination--if we have the courage to let Him lead us and the patience to allow His will and His plan to unfold.

I believe all of these things--and as I look at my life retrospectively, I know them. I have seen this happen in my life. This is not the first time ambiguity has crept up on me, and it won't be the last. "Another race hath been, and other palms are won" (See Wordsworth's Ode)--so here's to taking that first step that will lead to winning more. And just in case you wondered, I don't intend to re-acquaint myself with the "luxury" of fear after Easter Sunday.